


1943

by itsfrantastic



Category: EXO (Band), Kpop - Fandom
Genre: Historical Homophobia, Historical References, M/M, depression tw, historical contex, historical racisim, racial slurs tw, sucide tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 19:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8857615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsfrantastic/pseuds/itsfrantastic
Summary: Two boys will make love in a dorm room, trying their hardest to be as quiet as possible. It is rough and fast and Kris grips Tao’s skin so hard he will leave bruises but he has to. He has to make sure this is real and he is there and he will scribe his soul into the bones of Tao’s skeleton before he can leave him again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted at AsianFanfics, it's very old and I'm simply reposting here to remove the AF account. 
> 
> Check the poster that was made  
> http://31.media.tumblr.com/8e3394b6726019b68c88f96d47f921d3/tumblr_mufiaaJ3Wi1rkpi9jo1_500.jpg

It is 1943 and the stars shine bright, heavy with the promise of tomorrows love.

It is 1943 and the War has begun. It is 1943 and Wu Yi Fan is wealthy, young and a well-educated bachelor. Huang Zi Tao is not. Not any of that. He is a poor baker’s apprentice from the wrong side of town who can barely spell his own name but he is full of energy and Wu Fan is utterly mesmerized.

It is 1943 and they sneak chaste kisses in the dark, hands wildly groping for any bit of flesh. With all-knowing smiles and secrets in their hearts. They hide together and for each other. They court lovely ladies, Yi Fan’s parents set him up with the wealthy girls with pale skin and hair as dark as midnight. Zi Tao satiates himself with the prostitutes or the girls who are hopeless and instead lay on their back’s and dream of a better life, too jaded to try. Neither care. Neither are preoccupied with the concept of their futures.

It is 1943 and their love is short lived. It is fast, all consuming and ends before they had a chance to etch it in the stars.

It is 1943 and Yi Fan must do his duty. Must be the best son he can be, filial until he dies.

It is 1943 when he goes to war. It is 1943 when he dies with a bullet from the barrel of a Nazi Sympathizer’s gun in his side. The last thing he sees is Zi Tao’s face, eyes squinted tight with laughter. Yi Fan does not regret his duty, he is a soldier — should be a soldier and he has died to protect his country but he regrets leaving him all alone.

*

It is 1973 and Harvey Milk is running for City Supervisor — he won’t get elected until 1977 but Kris smiles with hope. Kris is a 17 year old second generation Chinese boy, who’s parents migrated to the states in the 50’s. His English is good, but he doesn’t like to stray too far away from China Town. His white friends couldn't pronounce his name, but they said he looked like a Kris. Fear of the unknown always stopping him, the white cops with their batons or the rude frat boys who are desperate to pick on anyone that’s different.

It is 1973 and Kris is a bit of a hippie. Flowers swinging from his bell bottoms as he meets up with friends at the park. He first meets Zi Tao at a peace rally, eyes half lidded and beyond high. The sixties have ended, but the war in Vietnam has not. Protests and rallies are a daily thing and Kris doesn’t go to college, instead, he works at an ice cream shop and helps out. Bright and eager, naive to believe he could change the world.

Zi Tao is an immigrant, a runaway, who doesn’t speak a lick of English but he’s sweet and Kris thinks he’s the most perfect thing since the Beatles. Zi Tao and Kris naturally gravitate towards each other, for some reason they are the perfect pair.

It is 1973 and they move in together after a very short amount of time. Both getting jobs to help support themselves. They don’t have much (there’s really no need) but it’s 1973 and even though things are tough for everyone they are happy.

It is never a full year, not really. Fate is cruel and it is 1973 when Zi Tao is attacked in an alleyway, blood gushing from a gaping wound in his head. Kris is too late to save him, and the cops do nothing. If a stupid gay immigrant goes missing in the dead of night, why would they bother? Didn’t he have it coming? Isn't it 1973? Dirty slurs are the last thing Zitao hears but not the last thing he sees. Kris’s confused face after Zi Tao tells a joke in Chinese is the last thing he sees. He’s memorized every contour of that face long ago, and he’s grateful he doesn’t forget it in the second the life spills out of him, pain and terror displayed on his face forever, but not in his heart. Never in his heart.

*

It is 1993 and Kurt Cobain will commit suicide the following year, grunge will die but will never be forgotten. Zi Tao is born on a cold autumn day to a happy couple in China. Kris was born three years earlier, in a different part of China. Kris will be the name he will fashion for himself, pick out of the air to put a label on who he wants to become. He doesn't remember where he got it from, only that it fit.

Zi Tao is an anxious little boy, running around, desperate for something that isn’t there. He trains hard, though. He trains hard and learns self defense, martial arts that make him feel secure even though he has nothing to fear or worry about. Nothing he needs to worry about. His mother says his anxiety is probably left over from a past life but he doesn’t believe in past lives. Laughs at the thought.

*

It is the year 2000 and the start of a new millennium, Kris is 10 years old and his family moves to Canada. He is not uncomfortable in a sea of different colors, he feels like he belongs here and he doesn’t know why. He is a natural leader and gets along with almost anyone. He joins the GSA in High School, and he doesn’t tolerate bullying. He advocates for gun control in America and feels strongly against wars. His friends say he would have totally been a flower child, but Kris just laughs and says that flowers are ugly and hippies smell bad.

It is the year 2000 when Zi Tao decides he wants to become a singer, like his pretty mama when she brushes her hair, long and flowing in the mirror. She is wonderful and Zi Tao loves her very much.

It is the year 2000 when Zi Tao discovers he likes boys and tucks the shameful secret away until his first kiss a few years later. A quick little thing after practice one day with another boy. Bored and curious , young childish rebellion on their minds. They never talk about it again but he will never forget.

*

It is 2006 and Kris decides to try out for some audition thing, he’s not sure if he wants to do this but when he gets in he decides it’s worth a shot.

It is 2006 and he is sixteen and living in Korea. A society he doesn’t understand, a language he is rapidly learning. He doesn’t want to go back in the closet but he ties and leaves the door open just in case.

Zi Tao is three years younger and not ready to leave home but he is accepted as well, and trains even harder in a country he doesn’t think he likes just yet.

*

It is 2007 when Kris and Tao meet again. It is an all new feeling, and Tao isn’t sure what happened between the two to garner such a reaction. He feels safe with Kris, and want’s to explore that.

It is 2007 and they will dance around each other for years. A basket full of ‘yes, maybe next time,” and ”I’ll hang out with you next weekend, I promise.”

They are not stupid. They know it’s risky getting in a relationship with a fellow trainee and later when they debut in the dead of night Kris will silently cry into Tao's thin yet muscular shoulders. The pressure always a bit too much.

*

It is 2009 and they go out for Ice Cream. The date a bit too deju vu for Kris to comprehend so he tugs on Tao’s hand and it’s entirely too awkward for his taste. Tao is Tao now, a nickname fit for the person he would like to portray on stage. They are too familiar with each other, they know each other better than they know themselves and they do not know why. Two patterns cut from the same cloth, identical souls. Red string attaching each other by the wrist.

*

It is 2011 and Lee Soo Man announces a new male idol group. It is 2011 when the world first hears of EXO.

*

It is 2013 and Kris wipes Tao’s tears. He laughs, a happy sound that Kris is delighted to hear. His heart soars and jumps out of his chest and he is sure this is a dream. Tao grabs a hold of his hands and looks him in the eye, ”Let’s try not to die this time, yeah?”

Kris can’t help but laugh harder, probably glowing radiantly as he leans down to press a kiss to his soul-mate’s lips. Tears mixing and pooling on their lips, salty and delicious and they cry harder.

*

It is 1943 and two boys passionately make love under the moonlight. One of them will die in battle, decorated with medal’s of honor for saving his fellow soldier’s lives. The other will be heart broken and he will never be the same again but he will marry a nice girl from a middle class family. Is too afraid to be alone to be by himself. His poor parents approve and he takes over the baker’s job.

They have a daughter and she is the light of his life. He feels guilty. He cannot love his wife and he does not love his wife. His heart is in the hands of another, a dead boy who was brave, all too brave and left an impression of love deep within him.

*

It is 1973 and two boys live in an under-furnished flat in San Francisco. They mainly eat cheap noodles or junk food and they sleep on ratty old mattresses but they are the happiest they have ever been in their lives. One of them will dream of a better life, in a more tolerant world. The other will dream of his life never changing. Simply wishing to capture the moments where they are perfectly happy and the world stops just for them.

The dreamer will die a violent death, and no one besides the other boy will remember him. He ran away from home, his family given up on him. A candlelight vigil is had by their closet of friends and it’s not enough. Will not be enough, has never been enough because a bright smile has left this world and Kris is so empty. Colors all drained from his happy little bubble. No longer naive, no longer the idealist that he once was. The world is not going to become a better place by smoking pot and screaming out the back of someone’s van. It is dirty, dark and dingy with wide gaping wounds left in his soul.

It is 1973 and Kris is lonely, afraid, and by himself.

He commits suicide a month later.

*

It is 2013 and Tao sucks in a large breath, the memories of their lives crashing down on him like bricks off a rooftop.

Two boys will make love in a dorm room, trying their hardest to be as quiet as possible. It is rough and fast and Kris grip’s Tao’s skin so hard he will leave bruises but he has to. He has to make sure this is real and he is there and he will scribe his soul into the bones of Tao’s skeleton before he can leave him again.

Fate is cruel and she will probably strike again, someday, maybe but Kris thinks they deserve this now. Maybe they’ll get it right.

Perhaps. If time permits.

They don’t concern themselves with the future, instead, they have learned to focus on the present and they do with 10 other boys.

They do.


End file.
